Gender DynamicsA theory of gender roles, and gender and sexuality
By- Michael McKown Welcome to Gender Dynamics. What follows is a theory of gender roles as they relate to the dynamics between men and women. What you are about to read is my own creation, based upon extensive observation. I have done no research to validate this theory, but since I think I'm a pretty fair observer of behavior, I can see the truth of my theory in everyday application. So let's get started. The Impetus for Gender Dynamics In around 1983, my mother, Marion, threw one of her "astrology parties." That's a party where you can attend only if you are born under whatever sign is active on the day of the party. In late March, for example, it would be an Aries party. In that case, you may only attend if you're an Aries. Or married to an Aries. Or have a child who is an Aries. Or have a friend who is an Aries. Or even have an enemy who is an Aries. You get the idea. Me and my girlfriend at the time, Evie, attended one of these parties. My mom is very popular in her San Francisco Bay Area community, so the party was well attended. One of the guests, a very attractive woman of about 38, was circulating in the crowd, talking about a book she was writing. I believe it was going to be titled something like, "How to Date the Independent Woman." I asked her a couple questions about it, and she was eager to explain. The problem, she said, is that men don't know how to date the independent woman. The purpose of her book is to show them how. That led to more questions. I didn't quite understand why we men were deficient in this way. She excitedly (and loudly) began complaining that men are confounded by independent women, find them intimidating and seldom follow up after the first date. In other words, nobody she was seeing wanted a second date with her. This was becoming a diatribe. I found her to be very attractive, nicely dressed, great perfume, but something about her was a turn-off for me. I didn't understand why I found her so unappealing, so I filed away the experience, and thought about it now and then over the following months. It was apparent that it didn't take long at all for her attitude towards men to surface. No doubt the men she had dated experienced the same thing. We didn't like her. But what was going on behind the scenes? What was the dynamic at work here that makes a very pretty woman such a complete turn-off for men? Gender Themes I eventually concluded that I needed to consider the psychological makeup of the male and female in order to get a grasp on what was happening to this woman at the party. What is the nature of the female? What is the nature of the male? It is apparent to any casual observer that men and women do not think alike. They do not see the world the same way. A cautionary note here. I am painting with a broad brush, so to speak, in order to arrive at generally accurate conclusions about the nature of genders. There are exceptions to any theme. For the time being, I am discarding the exceptions in order to achieve a clear understanding of general male and female gender themes. Let's look at the empirical evidence. What do males do? They are aggressors. Men approach women for conversation, dates, and sex. They seek to achieve power and influence. They love sports (football, basketball, hockey, all very aggressive sports.) They utilize tools for domination (guns, knives) and put education to work in business to achieve dominance. They want to think of themselves as the breadwinners, the providers. Get a promotion, build market share, run competitors out of business. Men cheat on their wives. Men want a new sexual conquest. Men both make the rules and break the rules. Men get violent. Men get arrested. Men go to jail. In 2004, there were 103,310 women in jails and prisons in the United States. There were 1,390,906 men behind bars. Men are 11 times more likely to be incarcerated than women. Reference: http://crime.about.com/b/a/164956.htm At their core, men are hunters and killers. These are dominating characteristics. The gender theme for man is: Hunter-Killer. What do females do? Women are soft and pretty. Women develop social networks. Women have babies and raise them. Women tend to be loyal to their men and sexually monogamous. Women go shopping for clothes and shoes to make them look attractive, buy makeup to enhance their appearance, and buy scents to allure. Because they have babies, women are nesters. Women seek to please. Their primary domain is their home, it is their basic area of interest and control. Women, for decades, have dampened theater seats in Sean Connery movies. They are intrigued by "bad boys," leading "nice guys" to gripe that they get left behind. Women seek to marry for love and want security in a very insecure world. At their core, women are nesters, nurturers and pleasers. These are submissive characteristics. The gender theme for woman is: Nester-Nurturer. (This work is under construction. There is much more to come.)
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